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The Abbreviated History of Morris
Founded in 1839 Morris, recently renamed Dergotown, is a small community nestled along the Illinois River. With a population of 12,000 people and two Dergos (which actually count as an additional 10,000 people-apiece) the city is know for its quaint small town atmosphere. Like Irish Lepricons or the Arctics abominable snowman, Morris also has its own mythological creature, the Man-beard. Said to have the strength of Hercules, the speed of Hermes, and the voice of William Hung, the man-beard is said to be the offspring of ZZ Top and the bearded lady. However, as of recently the man-beard has all but disappeared. Morris' history has been marked with its ups and downs. After being discovered by a band of singing Japanese business men in 1420, these founders constructed a few small cabins and began to life off of the land. In 1500 with a population of only five people the Chicago Cubs moved to Morris and built there stadium in the town with the greatest Cubs' fan base. However, after two years the number of fans in Chicago had grown to seven so the team returned to Chicago. Later in 1550 a fire tore through the city burning down all ten of the town's buildings. Another seven tents were consumed by the fire as where ten dogs. However, all was not lost, for the twenty people who survived the fire out of starvation ate the ten roasted dogs and the hot dog was born. In 1555 the town being to rebuild and later that year the citizens of Morris constructed the Brandt's Hot Dog factory and began making delectable hot dog delights. The town status was boasted to a city when the population increased to over 100 people after a hot dog bun factory moved into the town. After a 1570 all-time high in hot dog stocks the city of Morrisexperienced an influx of people and became the county seat. Once again the Cubs moved to Morris, but the Cubs were kicked out for good two years later after it was decided that the team actually reduced tourism and drove many of the citizens away from the city. Since then the city had been Cub free and has experienced a relatively peaceful existence.
